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Be Your Own Boost, a Strategic Breakdown
Clare GaffoorLetโs Be Honest: Low Self-Worth Hits Hard (and Quietly)
You ever feel like no matter how much you do, itโs never enough?
- You doubt yourself at work or in your relationship.
- You avoid mirrors.
- You brush off compliments like they donโt count.
- You feel like youโve let people down, even when they say you havenโt.
This isnโt about weakness or failure. Itโs the mental and emotional equivalent of a flat battery.ย Even the strongest of us run out of charge when stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, or burnout take over.
And hereโs what makes it harder: science shows that chronic stress shrinks the parts of the brain responsible for confidence and motivation, wiring us toย notice our failures more than our wins.ย
This isnโt just a bad mood, itโs a physical shift in the brainโs settings.ย But the real power? The brain canย recharge and rewire,ย and here's how you can harness that to your advantage....
1. Build a โGallery of Winsโ - Your Private Trophy Shelf
Think about this: if you opened your phone right now, how many different photos remind you of success? Pride? Strength?
Your brain doesnโt store wins by default. It stores failures because it thinks itโs protecting you.ย The Gallery of Wins flips this script.
Hereโs what you do:
- Scroll your phone. Find pics of moments you did show up: completed something on your build, fixed something at home, hit the gym, took your kid out.
- Screenshot messages where people said, "Thanks" or "You've helped me".
- Write down small wins - like sorting out bills, showing patience, going to therapy, surviving a hard week.
Put them in a folder called โWinsโ - no matter how small they seem.ย Look at it every morning, every night, and every time self-doubt creeps in.
Science says: Repeatedly revisiting positive memories fires up your brainโs reward system (ventral striatum), triggering dopamine, your bodyโs motivation and confidence fuel (Speer et al., 2021).ย Regular use rewires your brain, strengthening self-worth pathways. Think of it as muscle memory for your mental game.
2. Reclaim Your Space (Take Up More Room, Physically and Mentally)
Low self-worth makes us shrink - in posture, speech, even energy.ย But hereโs the secret: our body and brain are connected. Changing one shifts the other.
Research shows that expanding your body language for just two minutes boosts testosterone, a hormone associated with confidence (particularly in men) and reduces cortisol, a stress hormone (Cuddy et al., 2021).
Hereโs how to reclaim space:
- Stand tall with shoulders back. Take deep, wide breaths.
- Stretch arms above your head like youโre winning a race.ย (Do it first thing in the morning.)
- Clean and own one area - your car interior, your desk, your room corner.ย Make it yours again.
- Speak 10% louder in conversations.ย (Even if it feels weird at first, it rewires your brain toward presence, not hiding.)
Every time you take up space, your nervous system gets the message; โI belong. Iโm not small. I count.โย
3. Use โSelf-Creditโ Instead of Fake Positivity
Letโs cut the fluff:
- Telling yourself โIโm amazing!โ when you feel like crap doesnโt work.
- Your brain knows itโs a lie and shuts down.
What works? Self-credit. Giving yourself points for effort, even if the results werenโt perfect.
Examples:
- โI showed up today even though I wanted to hide.โ
- โI stuck with that hard conversation instead of running.โ
- โI made progress - even if itโs only 1%.โ
- โI survived today. That counts.โ
Psychologists call this self-efficacy, your belief in your ability to handle stuff.ย According to new research (Morina et al., 2023), self-efficacy boosts mental health more effectively than trying to force high self-esteem.ย Itโs stable, it sticks, and it builds your confidence from the ground up - like laying bricks, not putting on a mask.
4. The Brain Science: Why Small Wins Change Everything
Letโs go deeper.ย Your brain is designed with a negativity bias - it locks onto threats and failures to protect you.ย Great for survival. Terrible for self-worth.
Every mistake, every criticism - your brain highlights it in bold.ย Meanwhile, wins and compliments? They get filed away in size 6 font, barely noticed.
Butโฆย Every time you log a win or give yourself self-credit, you light up your reward system (dopamine surge), and over time, strengthen the confidence circuits in your brain (prefrontal cortex + striatum).
This is neuroplasticity:
- Small actions.
- Repeated often.
- Physically rewiring your brain toward confidence, not self-doubt.
New studies (Li et al., 2023) confirm that even 5 minutes a day of positive memory recall lifts mood, builds motivation, and protects against anxiety and depression.ย So when you think, โThat small win doesnโt count,โ - remember: to your brain, it counts big time.
5. Act As If Youโre Worthy (Even Before You Feel It)
Letโs be straight; most of us wait until we feel confident before we actually do the things that build our confidence. But confidence doesnโt work that way.
Action first. Feelings later.
Ask yourself daily:
โIf I believed I was worth looking after, what would I do today?โ
Would you fuel your body? Get some sunlight? Set boundaries with draining people?ย Would you rest without guilt?
This is called behavioural activation,ย and study after study (Takagaki et al., 2022) shows it beats waiting for motivation or self-esteem to magically show up.ย When you act as if youโre worthy, your brain starts believing it.
Itโs not faking - itโs training.
6. Get Sunlight & Movement - Your Brainโs Free Boosters
Low self-worth often comes bundled with low energy, brain fog, and zero motivation.
You can shortcut this spiral with two powerful natural tools:
- Sunlight โ boosts serotonin (feel-good, confidence chemical) and resets your body clock.
- Movement โ releases endorphins (natural painkillers) and reduces stress hormones.
Even 5-10 minutes counts.
Recent research (Niedermeier et al., 2023) shows thatย outdoor movement boosts self-esteem faster and more effectively than indoor workouts.
So step outside. Breathe. Stretch. Walk around the block.ย Youโre not just moving your body, youโre lighting up emotional circuits in your brain that fuel worth and resilience.
7. Master the โMicro Winsโ Formula
Low self-worth makes big goals feel impossible.
But small, micro wins? Achievable. And each one stacks confidence.
Formula:
- Set tiny tasks (5 mins max).
- Finish them.
- Log them as wins.
Examples:
- Took vitamins = win.
- Sent that email = win.
- Text a mate back = win.
- Made the bed = win.
Each micro win is a confidence deposit.ย Do 5 a day? Thatโs 35 deposits a week.
100+ a month. Thatโs how you build back your self-worth - brick by brick, not all at once.
Final Reminder: Self-Worth Isnโt a Prize - Itโs a Muscle You Recharge
You donโt earn self-worth by being perfect.
You donโt need to fix everything or win every battle.
You already have worth.
But, like muscles, it drains when life hits hard and needs recharging regularly.
Start today:
- Find one win.
- Take up a bit more space.
- Give yourself credit for surviving, showing up, trying.
- Move your body. Get some sun. Log your micro wins.
- Actย as if youโre already worth looking after - because you are.
Science backs it.
Your brain rewires from it.
And your future self will feel the shift;
stronger, steadier, and ready to own your worth again.ย
Youโre still here, which means the storyโs far from over. Keep going. You got this.ย
Enjoy the photos? They're a throwback from Rockingham Christmas Cruise, 2015.ย
Clare :)ย
ย
References:
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Speer, M.E., Bhanji, J.P., Delgado, M.R. (2021). Neural mechanisms of positive memory recall and its role in emotion regulation. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.
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Cuddy, A., et al. (2021). Power posing effects revisited: A replication and extension. Comprehensive Results in Social Psychology.
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Morina, N., et al. (2023). Self-efficacy interventions and mental health: Meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin.
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Li, Y., et al. (2023). Positive reminiscence therapyโs effect on depression and self-esteem. Frontiers in Psychology.
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Takagaki, K., et al. (2022). Behavioral activation for depression: Meta-analysis. Depression and Anxiety.
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Niedermeier, M., et al. (2023). Outdoor exercise and self-esteem: Systematic review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.
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Rozin, P., & Royzman, E.B. (2020). Negativity bias and dominance. Current Directions in Psychological Science.